My Week with a Toddler..

my week with a toddler

Day 1: Today I arrived at my pregnant sister’s house to help her out while her husband is away for the week with work. I arrived in the evening so things were already quite calm and sorted. The little one was cuddling up watching Thomas the tank Engine and the sister was preparing dinner. All seemed well in the house not unusual to any other time I have been over for the day. Before bed I was given only two rules

#1. Tidy up after yourself because I’m already tidying up after the child.

#2. Don’t leave anything you cherish lying around.

So I went to bed thinking this is going to be fun. We get to play house!8dc019290f061cff13145d7f8b49fe68

Day 2: He’s decided my feet are the best place to stand and sit. No matter what position I’m in. oh and anytime I bend over to pick anything up I suddenly become the giant moving climbing frame.

Day 3: so as he was due to play group I decided to help get the coats on and the buggy out and ready, I didn’t realise I was going on a 10-minute jog around the sitting room just to put his coat on. Toddlers are full of energy; I knew that What I didn’t know is that they have a four stage defense mechanism.

Stage 1:  Run run run run as fast as you can, you can’t catch meAlthough-frowned-upon-it-is-not-illegal-to-call-a-toddler-an-asshole.

Stage 2: Sit while making the loudest and most obnoxious high pitched noises. Ow my ears.

Stage 3: Lie down and engage full tantrum mode (while intermediate giggles to confuse enemy)

Stage 4: Become impossible to hold by achieved by arms straight up and body weight released to the all controlling forces of gravity. Making a 10kg toddler seem like 100kg.

 

Day 4: I blacked out… pretty sure my head got slammed in a door… who knows.

New parents shocked at having slept through the night.

.Day 5: We went to a play centre, I’m not sure if I had more fun or if the toddler did. He was very interested in trying new toys as was I! Sure who doesn’t love playing pretend kitchen. I’m a massive kid at heart let’s get over it!

internet-memes-ill-never-grow-up

 

Day 6: I’m genuinely exhausted, how do people do this “oh, you want to play again… but I’m trying to eat… yep, sure take all my dinner… you little thief!

Other things to note:

You will know all your nursery songs as they have been on repeat since 9am..

A basket for his toys, pfft more like a basket to wear

You’ll never pee alone. Or shower, or cook, or clean, or sleep.

e413MEME-Bathroom-Break

 

Day 7: HOME HOME HOME HOMEc28fa47ade084ca4b356d8cb48aca483

CHILD FREE HOME!

 

Sleeeeeep!!

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